How can I practice reframing the things that I think about myself in a more positive and kinder way? How can I say no to things that do not align with my goals or priorities?
Self-kindness is an area that I practice quite often, just like mindfulness. Every once in a while, I have to hold back the negative self-talk because I would not say those things to another person, so why should I say them to myself? It's not okay, and I see many women on fitness journeys, particularly weight loss journeys after having a baby, showing themselves the least kindness. Girl! You grew a whole human from scratch without missing a beat. It may be hard to cut yourself slack because you strongly desire to lose weight and return to your pre-baby or what you weighed 10 years ago. You will get there happier with compassion for yourself.
I also see women comparing themselves to other women, "she's a better mom than me; she packs her kids these cute lunches with notes. I need to do better." The key may be that the mom packing her kid's cute lunches prioritizes this as her way of connecting with her kids because she is going through unseen struggles. While it's easy to say, "Don't compare yourself," let's take a moment to practice reframing the things we say to ourselves more kindly and in a motivational or inspirational way. That is a cute idea for my kid's lunches; I will try it out.
Here are four ways to start practicing more self-kindness:
1. Balance Negative Emotions with Mindfulness
Many years ago, when meditation and mindfulness started to come to the forefront of the fitness industry, I was a skeptic until I tried it. Meditation has been one of the most beneficial additions to my health and wellness. I started by taking three minutes of a breathing exercise or guided meditation practice. It was hard at first to allow the thoughts I had to enter and exit my mind without holding on to them. Still, as I continued to practice, I was able to hold the space, and instead of judging myself for holding on to a thought, I recognized that the thought was there and allowed it to move through my mind. Now, when I have a flood of negative emotions that I cannot shake, I take a moment in a quiet space (sometimes the closet). I focus on breathing and releasing the tension from my eyes, jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, chest, hips, legs, feet, and toes while I practice reframing these thoughts more kindly.
2. Slow Self-Judgment by Reframing with Kindness
Another practice is when I begin to judge myself, I intentionally tell myself, "How would you say that in a kinder, more constructive way to yourself?" For example, I planned on a three-mile run, but I knew my body had not recovered properly, so I decided to walk three miles with a one-mile run at the end. But, ten minutes into my walk, I started to feel that I was not doing enough and lowering my standards, even though I knew my body was not ready for the workout I had planned. This was the moment I had to mentally pause and ask, "What was the reason for the change in my workout? Is this reason true?" Restate the plan in a kind way and provide the reason why. Here is the reframing: "I'm doing the right thing for my body because my last two days of workouts were high intensity, and I wanted to take today to continue to recover and still be active. This is what my body needs."
3. Say No When It Does Not Serve You
Anyone who grew up as a "yes" person and has signs of being a people pleaser knows how hard it is to say no when you feel guilty, even though you know you're at your capacity. You have to learn to say no to things that do not serve your goals or priorities. One question to ask yourself is, "Does this align with my current goals or priorities in my life?"
Here are some examples:
You're trying to lose weight, and your friend asks you to go get fast food.
Reframe: "Thanks for offering, but I prepared my meal at home." (And stick to it)
You are committed to drinking one alcoholic beverage at a social event, but your friend offers you additional alcoholic drinks.
Reframe: "Thanks, but I'm still working on this one," or "I'm only having this one tonight, thanks, though."
You have committed to working out on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, but your spouse wants you to skip it to binge-watch a Netflix show.
Reframe: "Let me get this work in quickly, and then you've got me."
Three More Powerful Ways to Be Kind to Yourself
Watch how you talk to yourself: Practice positive self-talk.
Prioritize self-care (it's not selfish).
Take time for yourself; the list of to-do things will always be there.
Remember to always be kind to yourself, just like you would be to others. Practicing self-kindness, particularly when on a fitness journey, is crucial. Start by balancing negative emotions with mindfulness, reframing self-judgment with kindness, and saying no when it does not serve you. Remember to watch how you talk to yourself, prioritize self-care, and take time for yourself. Remember that small steps towards self-kindness can lead to significant progress, so start today!
Takeaways
Balance Negative Emotions with Mindfulness
Slow Self-Judgment by Reframing with Kindness
Say No When It Does Not Serve You
What small steps towards self-kindness do you do?
Share with our community. Comment below 👇🏽 your self-kindness tools.
I am not a medical professional. As a fitness coach, I am not providing healthcare, medical, or nutritional therapy services or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any physical, mental, or emotional issue.
I am not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. My services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.
Please note that I can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, and any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available on CrystalMoniqueCoaching.com. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended on CrystalMoniqueCoaching.com.
Do not disregard medical advice or delay seeking medical advice because of information you read on CrystalMoniqueCoaching.com. Do not start or stop any medications without speaking to your medical or mental health provider.
Please note that I don’t make any guarantees about the results of the information applied on CrystalMoniqueCoaching.com. I share educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in fitness and education. You nevertheless need to know that your ultimate success or failure will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond my knowledge and control.
